Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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