This is not my ceiling
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
