piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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