i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
