He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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