Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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