It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
