we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
