he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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