Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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