So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize