and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
