my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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