Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize