11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
