This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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