i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We don't watch enough power rangers
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
