i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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