It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize