I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
