See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
