Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
