it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
