Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
