im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
