The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
