A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize