Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
