shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
