but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
