the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
