Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How does one acquire holy water?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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