the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
