On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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