Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Never underestimate the power of titties
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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