im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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