now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
