Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
