Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
