just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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