everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize