Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
