i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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