you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
