I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
