can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
