Quick, to the slutcave!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
