She's JV to your varsity
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
