Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
