but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
