His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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