I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
