he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
