I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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