after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
