Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Randomize
