It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
