She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
