hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
