Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
