Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
