U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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