so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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