i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
