sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
