It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
