Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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