while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
