my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
