I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
