If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
